I talk to strangers because learning to do so helps with the disability with which i was borne. I have genetic prosopagnosia. I don’t see faces – more accurately, I can see eyes, noses, mouths, facial hair, but if I turn away, I have no memory of the face. I cannot recognize myself in photos unless I recognize an article of clothing or jewelry. I’m lucky that I have a mild form, because once I know someone long enough, I can recognize them by other means. Because others in my family also have it, I learned coping strategies from a young age.
One of those coping strategies (thanks daddy) was training on details. When I see a person for the first time, I look for something unique – and have been taught to comment on it – an article of clothing, a piece of jewelry, a unique hairdo. I look for ways to interact with people so I can gaze at them a little longer, and work HARD to meet someone’s eyes (unlike you, I need to actually search for them). So, if someone holds the door for me, I automatically grin, find their eyes and say “Thank you SOOOO much. You have made my day.” When I am interacting with someone, for example, paying a cashier for something, saying hi to the postman when he delivers my mail, receiving a delivered package, asking for directions, I ask the person how their day is going. I offer water, coffee and a bathroom to the people who work outside in my neighborhood. In the supermarket line, I look at what other people are buying and ask about some of their products: have you had it before? Is it better than <brand X>? May I look at the ingredients? In doing things like this, I have learned to engage strangers. And then, you’re having a conversation. It’s that simple. For someone with my disability, it’s critical, because the longer I spend with a stranger (you never know who you’ll end up friends with!) the better chance I have of memorizing things I CAN see – are they my height? Taller? Shorter? Are they my size? Thinner? Fatter? What does their voice sound like? What do they smell like? But for anyone, it’s a way of engaging others and nothing more.
Seem like too forward? Get a dog. If you can’t own a dog, you can go to the SPCA and borrow a dog to walk. It’s good for you and good for the dog. People stop to pet dogs, some people you’ll run into also have dogs. Then talk dog. Already, you have a common connection with someone. (And you’re doing something REALLY GOOD for a dog in need of adoption!)
But that’s really step one: talk to a stranger. There’s a good chance you’re already done this: Did you ever go trick-or-treating? You showed up on someone’s doorstep and asked for candy. Did you ever ask for directions? You certainly have said “thank you” to someone you didn’t know. Unless you’re under house arrest, you likely leave your house every day – which means you see other people. And you kinda-sorta know some of them: the parents waiting for the kids being picked up at school, the kid at WaWa you buy coffee from every day, the farmers from whom you buy produce at the Farmer’s Market – your mechanic, doctors, dentists, nail person, hairdresser/barber, I think you’re getting the idea.
So you’ve struck up a conversation. How do you get over to politics in this polarized environment?
Currently, you can ask if someone is voting November 6th, because we are close to an election. If you’re more than 2 months out from an election, you can ask if they know when the next election is going to be held. Let’s start with the upcoming election. Here are the responses you’ll most likely hear:
- The stranger: “I don’t discuss politics”.
You: “OK – have a great day!” - The stranger: “There’s an election? I don’t think there’s an election until, what? 2020? Whenever Trump runs again.”
You: “Yes, there has been an election on the first Tuesday after the first Monday every November since 1791. We actually do have the opportunity to vote for other offices than president.” - The stranger: “Yes I am.”
You → There are a number of options here. What you say depends on how you’ve sized up the stranger, who is which gender, who is what age, and how bold you are. Here are some options that you can put into your own words:
♥ “Will you be riding the Blue Wave with me?”
♥ “May I tell you about my favourite candidate?”
♥ “Have you picked your candidates yet?”
♥ “Are you excited about this election?”
♥ “Do you know where to vote? I know they’ve changed some of the polling places.”
Those are the three main response areas. If someone doesn’t know there is an election, you can gently ask them if they’re registered to vote. If they aren’t, let them know that registration has closed for this election, but if they’d like, you can register them for future elections, and send information on voting and elections. (If it’s a different election, and registration is still open, register them.) You should always have voter registration forms either on you, or in your car. Keep some in the trunk, along with a spare tire….and use the forms more than the spare tire. When they fill out the form, make sure you can read their email address and phone number. TAKE their voter registration form, submit it (in person if at all possible) and then call 3 weeks later to make sure they received their card and know where to vote. When you get home that day, send them an email saying it was so nice meeting them, and you’ll be following up to make sure they get their card, and in the interim, here is a voter guide for everything they might want to know about voting. Offer to answer any questions they may have, and ask if they’d like candidate information for the next election.
If the person is registered to vote, but doesn’t know what this election is about, tell them which offices are up for election. Make sure that you know the candidates for each office (yes, all the candidates). You can ask what town they live in, so you can personalize for State Senate and State Rep. You can find the information on who is running and where the candidates stand here. And yes, the stranger will be able to enter his/her/their address and discover their districts! Feel free to say why YOU are voting – WHY you support a certain candidate, and which issues drive you to be a voter in this election. Keep that to under a minute, practice in front of a mirror until you own that information.
If the person is voting, and they are part of the blue wave, act excited, and see if they can get their friends and family to the polls. If they are voting and still on the fence about their selections, ask if they’d like to know why you are voting for the people you’re voting for. Then pick one candidate and talk about how he/she feels about the issue you are most passionate about. Helpful hint: people vote DOWN the ballot and not UP the ballot. Thus, if you get someone excited about a down ballot candidate, that person will vote all of the positions above on the ballot. After you talk (briefly, under 30 seconds) about your candidate, if the person seems amenable, you can say that you will be voting a straight Democratic ticket (and note that is DEMOCRATIC not Democrat – don’t let them steal our name) because THIS year, it is a stark choice between people who support putting 13,000 children in tents on the Texas-Mexico border, killing off health insurance for anyone with a pre-existing condition, and taking away Social Security and Medicare, or voting Democratic to undo those situations.
Now you know how to approach a stranger, and how to start a conversation and segue to politics. There are two additional options.
You can walk around your neighborhood and use these same techniques on your neighbors — even if they have been canvassed, talking to a neighbor is different – it’s a personal conversation with someone they already know. Or, they are new to the neighborhood — in which case you should approach with an Entenmann’s cake, and a “howdy new neighbor” and go from there. You can also call everyone you know who may or may not be voting.
Once you master this, you can do the following. Grab a friend or family member (not a young child) and go somewhere with a lot of turnover, such as Starbucks or WaWa. Buy a cup of coffee. If you do not drink coffee, buy tea, milk, soda, water, just BUY a liquid and hold it in your hand. Have your partner do the same. Stand near one of your cars, and as people are nearby, call out “Are you voting November 6th?” – This actually is advanced voter engagement – but you can get there!
Thanks for all you do and remember VOTE NOVEMBER 6th – Our lives depend on it, and if you can get ONE voter every day, we will sweep.